


They Call Me Gabriel

by AugustStories



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e08 Changing Channels, Introspective Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 23:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19239505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AugustStories/pseuds/AugustStories
Summary: He wasn't an Archangel for so long, he had been hiding for so long but none of it meant that it didn't hurt like a bitch once someone triggered the memories. And these two, they were so much like his brothers.Gabriel's POV of the ending of Changing Channels





	They Call Me Gabriel

**Author's Note:**

> Changing Channels is my favourite Supernatural Episode and I wrote this after rewatching it during the SPN Summer Rewatch of 2019, our last hiatus.
> 
> Gabriel is my favourite character so I've been wanting to write a really him focused Oneshot for a while already and now this happened.
> 
> Dialogue is taken from the episode.

He made a mistake.

 

He made a stupid fledgling mistake that he should have grown out of a long long time ago.

 

The holy oil ignited into flames in a circle around him, his Grace flinched and then spread out to call for help.

 

A stupid stupid mistake.

 

And as he tried to fool the brothers still, Gabriel desperately pulled his Grace back behind the Pagan magic and wrapped it in layers and layers and layers of magic, hiding it away again, praying to a Father who had left him so long ago that it had been too brief of a time to be noticed.

 

He snapped them back to the abandoned warehouse, impressed a little that the brothers had found him out.

 

He kept on his bravado, kept the pokerface and let himself be pulled into their conversation, still the Trickster, always the Trickster, just curious on how they had managed to figure it out.

 

"Mostly it was the way you talked about Armageddon." Dean Winchester said and he was as ignorant of the severity of what he had done as ever, Gabriel didn't flinch, he was too old for that, he had spent too long hiding behind the face of a Trickster to let himself be triggered into reactions like that. On the inside he was frantic, still tucking away his Grace, still fervently praying to let himself be hidden from Heaven still.

 

His ears were honed in on hearing wings.

  
"Meaning?"

  
"Well, call it personal experience. Nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family."

 

He would know, wouldn't he, these two were almost as destructive as Michael and Lucifer had been, their Dad had been too busy all the time and focused on other things as well.

  
"So which one are you?" Sam Winchester asked him and he looked incredibly pissed, and maybe Gabriel deserved it after the things he had done to the kid. "Grumpy, Sleepy, or Douchy?" He almost laughed, on the inside, if that part wasn't still scared shitless that one of Heaven's minions might arrive at any minute to let him face judgement day. Comparing his brothers, two of the most powerful beings in all of Creation to fairytale dwarves... Maybe there was a reason on why he liked Sam more out of the two of them.

 

He also knew as he looked into Sam's eyes that there was no way out anymore, no more evading possible, this was it. Centuries of hiding, centuries of just being Loki and it was all over. Because of these two. Because they just couldn't accept that you couldn't outrun fate. "Gabriel, okay?" He answered slowly and focused on Sam's sneer, saw the realization firing up in those smart eyes, "They call me Gabriel."

 

For the first time since he had abandoned all that had ever been dear to him, he spoke his name outside of the safety of his own mind.

 

His Grace was close to panicking, flinching and curling in on itself because speaking his name was only another nodge on the risk ladder, another beacon spread towards Heaven to have someone hone in on him.

 

"Gabriel?" Sam wanted to know and Gabriel could see that the kid knew, knew that by now Sam would have read up on all there was to know about Archangels in this world. "The Archangel?" And Gabriel felt sick, sick right down to the bone of this vessel that had been made for him so long ago, that had become him so long ago.

 

"Guilty."

 

And he let his face show to Sam how not happy he was about that revelation, about this whole situation.

 

The Trickster got tricked.

 

And Gabriel shot himself into his own damn foot when he reacted to a little ring of holy fire like a fucking baby angel.

 

"Okay, Gabriel," Dean demanded his attention be pulled away from Sam, "How does an Archangel become a Trickster?" Gabriel wanted to choke him, wanted to snap them both unconscious but he couldn't do it. They had no place to judge him, to place to demand an explanation over things that were personal and had nothing to do with their stubborn idiotic plan on dodging the Apocalypse.

"My own private witness protection," he replied and let it be aloof, let himself sound pissed rather than terrified of memories coming up, "I skipped out of Heaven, had a face transplant. Carved out my own little corner of the world until you two screwed it all up."

 

Just like Michael and Lucifer had done in Heaven.

 

He followed up with a grand speech about destiny and fate, tried to hide how it tore him up inside out, how it brought up a pain long ignored, a pain that still felt as real now as it had back then.

 

"I just want it to be over."

 

Because they didn't understand, they would never understand, they weren't the third party unable to intervene. They weren't the little brother who would have to stand by and watch how his brothers, the brothers he loved the most, tried to kill each other again, only this time they wouldn't stop until one of them succeeded.

 

He painted them the picture, drilled it into their skulls so that they could finally see, so that they could finally begin to grasp an understanding.

 

Pagan magic was holding him together, holding his anger control over his emotions instead of the fear and the pain but Gabriel was crying on the inside, behind those indestructable walls he was crying. It would happen, there was no way around it. It would happen again. He would have to start over all over again, only this time it wouldn't just be a brother caged, it would be one brother dead. Dead for good. Gone for good. Forever. And as much as he hated his brothers for their war, he also still loved them too much to even think about losing even one of them.

 

"Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always."

 

Of course, Dean Winchester, the King of Stubborness said, "no," in responce to a speech that would have made Lucifer and Michael proud in its dramatics and seriousness. "That's not gonna happen."

"I'm sorry," Gabriel said to him in response to his defiance, tone flat and cold, and he was, he was truly sorry because they didn't deserve it. The brothers had their flaws and had made their mistakes but their stories had been written out, their roles fixed long before they had been born. "But it is." He saw the emotions in Dean's face as the older brother worked through it, and Gabriel sighed because didn't he understand by now how humanity was blessed by their free will, how much especially these two were so strong in believing their choices were of their own doing, that no one got to control their lives anymore after their Dad had died.

 

Gabriel sighed.

 

He needed to leave but these two also needed to understand.

 

"Guys, I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow but this is real."

 

And there was no changing the script. The lines had been written, two endings had been written, it was only a matter of seeing which one fate wanted. The Devil or the Prince. And in the end even that didn't matter, Gabriel knew as he looked from one stubborn brother to the other, because "it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be."

 

Because too much time ago Dad had decided he couldn't openly pick between his two favourite sons and he wanted destiny to take one of them so he wouldn't have to choose. Can't disappoint a dead son. And can't disappoint the rest either when they're all dead. The brothers looked down, spirits not broken but clearly having taken a hit, no one had been this honest with them over the whole situation so far and Gabriel felt awful but it needed to be done.

 

Now he needed to leave, he had been here too long, by now someone in Heaven would have recognized the cry of help his Grace had sent out, he needed to hide.

 

"So, boys, now what?" He wanted to know when they were just stupidly standing there, he had said all he had needed to, they knew the truth, they could end this whole depressing show now. They could go home and make their choices and he could go back to living out the last remaining days he would be given. "Stare at each other for the rest of eternity?"

"Well, first of all," Dean showed life and anger again, he was rubbed raw, close to bursting out with whatever he kept caged inside, Sam remained quiet, he understood, Gabriel could see it, he had understood. "You're gonna bring Cas back from wherever you stashed him."

 

Oh, of course, Dean Winchester wanted his little angel buddy back.

 

"Oh, am I?" He couldn't help but test him a little because by now he was just as much angry as panicked, for so long he had spent his existence ignoring the pain he had fled from. Trust these idiots to bring it all back.

 

"Yeah. Or we're going to dunk you in some holy oil and deepfry ourselves an Archangel."

 

Yes, like he was ever gonna let them get that close. He'd rather alarm the entirety of Heaven and Hell to his continued existence than letting Sam and Dean Winchester so much as lay a hand on him. No, thank you, he hadn't let his own brothers do that long before he had left, he had no desire to let their vessels make a change now. He was going to roast them before they could hurt him even more, let them see how his brothers could puzzle them back together.

 

He raised his fingers and snapped.

 

Brought back Heaven's little rebellious soldier who hadn't understood the role he was playing yet either.

 

It had to be difficult to go from being Michael's puppet to being Dean Winchester's because they were so wildly different.

 

"Cas, you're okay?" Dean asked in worry that made Gabriel's skin crawl because of course Michael's perfect true vessel was the one with the deep connection to Michael's little favourite seraph. As in Heaven, so on Earth, it all held true. Castiel was panting, cut on his nose and maybe Gabriel had been a little too driven by paying his oldest brother's fave a lesson in creating that specific pocket dimension.

 

"I'm fine. Hello, Gabriel."

 

Still as eternally pissed, stuck up, stiff and unfunny as ever.

 

There had been a reason why Michael had favored him so.

 

Gabriel set up a fake smirk, built up mental brick walls against Castiel's searching Grace, "Hey, bro. How is the search for Daddy going?" He dug into that wound because wasn't it amazing to prod right where it hurt the most. Gabriel knew how it felt, he had devoted too much time of existence before his departure from Heaven to searching for an absent father. "Let me guess. Awful." And right then and there he didn't care how much it hurt or pissed the seraph off, he needed to realize that Daddy-O was gone, up and left, never to return. Oh mighty Lord had stopped giving a shit ages ago.

 

He needed to finish this up, he needed to leave, he needed to just fucking get out of here.

 

"Okay, we're out of here." Dean decided and Gabriel looked away from everyone to not let them see the relief, the panic, the million plans running through his mind where he could go to become nobody again, to disappear as even the smallest of glitches in Heaven's radar. "Come on, Sam."

 

Dean walked away and Sam and Castiel turned to follow him. Gabriel was still caught in the ring of holy fire.

 

He could break out of it, could dose the flames and break the ring if he used enough Grace but that would be like writing a personalized invitation for Michael to find him, and Lucifer right away as well. And maybe Raphael would come along, too, and then they'd have a merry family reunion and they could take bloody turns chewing Gabriel out.

 

"Okay..." he called after the brothers and Castiel, let some of the panic and fear slip in to appeal to their humanity, "Guys!... Eh... So... So what?" And he couldn't believe they were actually leaving, but then okay, hey, Gabe, remember those are your brother's perfect vessels, why would they give a crap about you. Michael and Lucifer never did. "Huh? You're just gonna... you're gonna leave me here forever?" Make them believe they had the upper hand, that a ring of holy fire could actually trap an Archangel for good.

 

"No," Dean told him and all three of them stopped by the door and turned to face him again, Gabriel wanted to punch something and cry at the same time, he needed to leave. "Because we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record," and it gave Gabriel actual chills to see Dean but hear Michael, to hear the brother who always knew better. "This isn't about some prized fight between your brothers. Or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!"

 

And Gabriel wanted to kill.

 

He wanted to lash out and destroy because how dare that fucking child judge him for what he was doing. How dare he think he knew what Gabriel had gone through! How dare he think that he knew even the smallest reason for Gabriel's fear! He hadn't been there! He didn't know!

 

Dean turned.

 

And flipped the emergency switch for the sprinklers, a moment later the water came pouring down extinguished the flames and soaked Gabriel from head to toes but he was free to leave again.

 

"Don't say I never did anything for you!"

 

And it could have been Michael in him already.

 

Dean and Sam left, only Castiel still looked back at him and Gabriel stared back at him, willing him to know what he had chosen, that there was no way this wouldn't end the bloodiest for him. You couldn't go against Heaven and decide to come out on top of it. They were all going to die. In a show of strength and power that he just wanted now to get rid of Castiel, Gabriel looked down at the remaining flickers of flames in the artificial rain and let them disappear with a blink. Castiel turned and Gabriel took flight.

 

He disappeared.

 

Let Gabriel die again because that was no longer part of him, he had killed that a long time ago. Loki was who he was now, Loki was the life he wanted to lose himself in for the little remaining time they all still had before the world burned.

 

He didn't owe the brothers anything.

 

He didn't.

 

He owed even less to his own brothers, they had hurt him, they had never loved him like he had loved them, too busy hating each other.

 

Their time was limited now, it was all going to come to an end and Gabriel would not spent it helping the Winchester fools and their little pet angel find a way around destiny.

 

He wouldn't.

 

\--

 

So of course he did.

 

And he paid the price.

 

So did Sam. So did Dean. So did Castiel.

 

If only they had just listened. Death for all was easier than this pain and horror for all involved.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The idea with the holy fire is just an assumption but we did see in Season 11 how Lucifer brought down the flames and I'm sick of Gabriel always being considered so much weaker than his brothers. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
